Is life this bad?
by Shippoukittykat
Summary: Kagome is a girl who was neglected and alone her elementary school life. Can she trust anyone again? what happends when inuyasha comes into the picture? what happends when her friends betray her?
1. In The Begining

Flash back!

"Ok, bye Mommy!" little 2-year-old Kagome cried out to her mom, waving her hand frantically. Her first day at pre-school. She was young, too young, but smart. She entered the class room to see a little girl her age in her class. She didn't talk to her, no one liked Kagome. Later out on the play ground that little girl in her class was coming down the slide. Kagome went up to her; the little girl looked at her funny.

"Will you be my friend?" The girl named Sango shyly asked.

"Yeah, I'm Kagome." she said, smiling a grin Kagome would never forget. Sango smiled back. They knew they would be best friends forever.

End Flash back!

Kagome was looking out of her window, remembering her childhood. She grew up in a little private elementary school, Beman Park; it only had about 30 kids there so if you went there, you knew everyone. So, Kagome didn't have many friends.

The only one she had was Sango. But she left, a while into their elementary school teaching. Kagome grew up cold and alone for most of her life. No one wanted to play with her; no one wanted to be around her. Although Sango came around every weekend it seemed. She wouldn't admit it, but she was the saddest when Sango had to cancel.

Kagome also moved during elementary school, her old house was little, white, with a big porch in the back. Her new house was huge, with a pool and her room, bigger than the rest. She was happy, if only for then. The movers scared her and they put her bed together wrong. And still it stands today, still together wrong.

And now, this was her first day of middle school. She put on her school clothes and prepared for the worst.

Her brother, Souta, was in 8th grade. (Yeah, Souta is older than Kag in this story) He was instructed to ride her to school and back each day.

"Hurry up Kagome, we don't want to be late!" her brother shouted at her from his bike, speeding up.

'How can we be late we are riding to school 2 hours early!' she yelled at her brother in her head. Kagome kicked up the speed on her bike.

They got to the school, turning into the bike rack. Kagome locked up her bike as she was instructed.

"Get out of my face." Her brother scolded her. Kagome looked down at the damned gray cement and went to where her first class was.

RING!

She went into her classroom and picked a seat at the front. Other people slowly came in and chose their seats. Kagome looked down at her seat.

"Ok students, put your desks in a circle, and we'll all get to know each other." The teacher told them. They all moved their desks next to their friends and talked.

"Ok, ok students, now, we'll go around and tell us your name and something about you."

"I'm Kikyo, and um…I don't know." Her friends snickered at her. "Kikyo you're so stupid." One of them told her.

They all went around and said their name and something they liked to do, or something about them, maybe making a stupid joke.

All her classes pretty much went the same way for the rest of the day.

Days went on, home work, tests, new friends, but Kagome wasn't happy. She went to the bike rack one day and saw a girl, getting her bike out to go home. Kagome had seen this girl before, she went pretty much the same way she did, so, Kagome decided to meet her. She hopped on her bike and followed after her. She found her and rode her bike right up next to her.

"Hi, I'm Kagome" She said sticking her hand out, almost falling off her bike.

"Nanako" She stuck her hand out, giving her a look like she was the weirdest person on the planet. They shook hands. Another friend couldn't hurt, she didn't have many. They rode home together everyday until one day.

"Hey, Nanako!" Kagome shouted.

"Oh, hey Kagome, I'm gonna ride home with them from now on, see ya later." She said getting on her bike and riding off with two 8th grade girls leaving Kagome without another friend, left, again.

Days, months passed. Kagome was left, alone and without many friends. She stayed in contact with Nanako, figuring that the 8th graders wouldn't be there next year, and she would be. Granted, she would be only a fall-back but it was better than nothing.

Kagome had other friends, two, in gym. They were nice girls, made her feel like there's good people in the world. But they……they just weren't enough. They weren't best friends, they weren't friends…they were just…there.

There was this boy, she would never admit she liked. He sat next to her during English. Long blonde hair and didn't stop talking, even about the most absurd things.

Everyday she would ask her teachers if they needed help in the morning, because she got there damned early, and no one was around.

"Hey Kagome, what are you doing for the summer?" Kagome's dad asked, it was near the end of the year, summer's shinning sun was drawing nearer and nearer.

"Oh, I don't know. I was thinking of going to the ninth grade center, it's a day camp during the summer." Kagome told her father. Kagome went into her room and turned on the radio, drowning the sound of her trying to cry the misery out of her.

Dreams invaded her mind. Black, that's all she could see. There was a spot light on her; she called out to someone, anyone who would hear her. No one answered. She was alone, and in the dark.

Kagome woke up in a cold sweat. 'A dream, it was a dream' she re-assured herself. 'Just a dream……..'


	2. Summer 6 to 7th

That summer, Kagome was faced with things she had never heard of and never thought about before. Being in such a private elementary school, she was as innocent as they come. She learned everything that summer. That summer made up for all the experience she lacked in elementary. She experienced exclusion, pain, people being pervs and for once, real happiness.

Kagome walked in the first day and saw Nanako. She caught up with her and met her new friends, Inuyasha, a bad-ass trouble maker, Ayame, a very tall girl with an interesting personality, and Goemon, a pretty boy with a bad attitude.

She was curious about her soon to be friends; she spent as much time as they let her just observing. Kagome was a shy girl, she sang in the crowd, played cards if people asked her and did what other people did if she wished but she rarely did things alone. Nothing like the people she had meet. Inuyasha was always being an idiot or hurting himself. Goemon was always making jokes. Nanako and Ayame were good friends. They were always laughing and joking. Kagome was usually on the side lines.

No, these people wouldn't take that. They included her, like no one else did. They cared about her and her well being, which she rarely felt.

A month later, Kagome became more comfortable with her new friends. She made jokes with them and hit Inuyasha if he did anything stupid. She felt excluded at times, like when Nanako and Ayame went shopping without her.

No one could see why Kagome wasn't perfectly happy. Was there a reason she shouldn't be? Of course not. She laughed and smiled, took pictures of her stupid friends doing stupid things. Like putting themselves on a leash. But Kagome had been alone so much that she pushed away everyone. She often caught herself crying, and not telling anyone why, because she didn't know. She had a deep depression that no one could fill.

Her days in that camp were filled with activity, drama, dilemma, love and loss. Nanako was a girl who loved to flirt. She had dated Inuyasha (for a couple days), Goemon (for about a day), and a couple other guys (for equal periods of time). She so long envied Nanako, because Kagome wasn't a very pretty girl, plain out ugly if you will, she has a flat chest, zits and uncontrollable hair.

Of course she saw Sango. But Sango became unusual toward Kagome. Now I can't describe it, if I was able to I would. It wasn't uncommon of course for them to fight but they always made up.

The summer almost ending, she didn't feel any better than she did when it started. Still the dreams of darkness filled her, the thoughts that no one ever cared about her, and never would. The things that filled her mind would make the strongest men weep, if they truly knew. The feelings of loneliness only filled her more. Her new friends, she thought, would only leave her, they don't really care, what would happened if I died? No one would care…..

The end of the summer couldn't have come any faster, the start of a brand new year, she couldn't wait. Finally she might find someone who cared….someone.

Something happened after that last day of camp that changed her forever, gave her things she didn't ever know. When she got home her phone rang, she picked it up, expecting it to be her mom or something…but it wasn't.

"Hello?"

"Hey, yeah this is Inuyasha, is Kagome home?" the voice on the phone responded.

"Yeah, speaking, how you get my number Yash?" she asked.

"Nanaku gave it to me" he answered

"Oh, ok, I figured" She said, she was talking to Nanaku over the internet.

"Yeah, so I wanted to ask something"

"Kay, shoot"

"I wanted to know if you would go out with me"

"Yash, I cant, I'm not aloud to date." She said, while typing to Nanaku, 'omg Inuyasha just asked me out! Is it ok with you?' Kagome only thought it was right to do, because Nanaku had already dated him.

"But if you could date, would you go out with me?"

"Yeah, I would"

That was it. That was all it took to make her life change, a simple yeah. Who knew that someone could make your life change so much? Now, Kagome didn't even know if they were dating or not. All she knew was if they were she had to keep it from her parents.

The middle school had moved to a different building, granted it was right across the street; they built it during Kagome's 6th grade year.

It was the first day of school again, little did she know of the things that would pass in those halls, on that campus, the things that changed her, molded her, and shaped her whole self for the rest of her life. She met her teachers, they were good people, and she had been strongly looking forward to having Mr. Hartle as her teacher. Her brother had him.

She no longer had to ride with her brother, seeing as he was going to high school. She rid with Nanaku and a now 6th grader, Yamashita. Yamashita was a hyper little girl, strong and violent.

Kagome's first days were lonely, she didn't really know anyone, but she met a girl by the name of Asuka. They became fast friends. Kagome made many friends actually. Still on the edge, her friends guided her to being actually happy.

Kagome had problems with Inuyasha at the beginning of the year. He called her after school but barely looked at her during school. It was extremely unusual. He sat at the other side of the table at lunch and didn't even look at Kagome. She thought he was embarrassed by her. He never asked her to the movies, or anything. She knew she asked him to be secretive, but people knew. People came up to her and said "You're Inuyasha's girlfriend right?" when she said yes, they said sarcastically "good luck".

Nanaku decided to take action, she told Yash to give a hug to Kagome. When he did, she was ecstatic! That lead to daily hugs and it stopped at that, never a date, never a kiss, that time she dated him.

Of course her friends didn't trust her. They didn't tell her anything that was going on, but everyone else knew. How would that feel? After a life like she had? Not particularly totally excluded most her life, but darn close to it. To think that you've actually made friends, BUT they don't trust you. And after, you think, that if you were told, not a single unfriendly word would have been spoken between the two whom fought. And never, even after they've said sorry, have you been told about what happened.

Her school work plummeting, her friends forever untrusting, and her family falling apart took up most of the beginning of that year. She knew that the only thing she had was Inuyasha. She survived solely on him.

SOOOOO? How was it! It's really hard to write this considering I don't remember anything. This story is my life and I'm Kagome.


	3. Author Note, please read

To my reviewers I'm really glad that you read my story. It's really hard writing this. Probably because I really cant remember that far back. Also, because there are a lot of things in my past that I'm not willing to say, or write. Some things in my story are left out, and it might take a while and a couple of re-writes to actually tell the whole story. Bottom line, I can't go any further with this story. My writing this would only bring trouble among my friends, it already has. I will re-vise the things I have and keep it posted, but I will not go any further.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, you guys win this round, I'll update.


	5. Chapter 5

The never ending problems continued. Inuyasha wouldn't look at Kagome, even though he said he loved her. And she loved him…..

In this life she had many happy times. Mostly with Asuka, Sango and Nanako (or Nana).

Inuyasha, finally persuaded by Nana, gave Kagome the first hug from a guy that she liked, ever. This made her so happy, she floated on air. One hug lead to one a day hugs, to every time I see you hugs. But that ended there, no first date, no kiss.

It went on rather pleasantly that was for the first 2 nine weeks. Then Kagome started to feel like it wasn't right to trick her parents like she had been doing. She told Inuyasha that it had to end because of this. He said to give him a call when she was actually able to date. Kagome believed that this meant that he would wait for her. No such luck.

Shortly after Inuyasha asked another girl out. Kagome was hurt like she never knew before. Crying, every night, wishing, this was only a dream. No, he didn't even speak to her after they broke up, not for another 9 weeks.

Kagome went to a friend's house, seeking comfort. Her friend lived very close to Inuyasha. She just wanted to run over there and tell him how much she loved him…

While Kagome and her friend were out on the patio, they heard the phone ring…Her friend picked it up. It was no other than, Inuyasha, the one Kagome loved. He asked to speak to her. Kagome wished with all her heart that he would tell her that he wanted her back. But that was not the case. He asked her where he could find a bracelet for his new girlfriend. She told him she didn't know. She cried. This hurt her because on her birthday, when they were together, he didn't even say happy birthday…

Inuyasha's girlfriend and him broke up, but not to fear. He was soon with another woman. Inuyasha and Kagome were talking now, on the phone, almost nightly. Kagome found out that this girl did not have a very pure past. It was a wrong thing to do when you're only in middle school. Feeling terrible enough, the very worst thing, of all time that had happened to her happened…..

During this time when Inuyasha was dating the 2nd girl after Kagome, Inuyasha asked one of Kagome's best friends. . . . Nanako.

They both called her to tell her that they were going to be together, not to ask if it was ok, to tell. Kagome didn't like this at all. She hung up on them. She didn't want them to hear her cry, as she did the rest of the night…..

The most painful time of her life, Inuyasha was cheating on his girlfriend with the not so pure past with….Nanako. She watched them, hug, she watched her mouth 'I love you' to him when her terrible heart didn't even mean it.

Not to her surprise, they didn't last long.

It wasn't too long before Inuyasha and Kagome were back together. She said she didn't want to be the re-bound girl. But he said he loved her. So, she went out with him again.

Nothing really mattered to Kagome except Inuyasha. Although her friends still seemed like they didn't trust her, they were great. But she loved Inuyasha with a pure love. An untainted, unbroken-hearted-before love.

Finally, a first date. It was at a cheap movie theater, for a movie ticket she paid for herself. But the movie was good. 50 First Dates. Appropriate right? The end of the movie she had her first kiss. Her friends dragged her into the girls' room and kept bugging her about it, singing "Kaggy got kissed in a movie theater".

The summer came and Kagome saw an old friend again, Matt. She had liked Matt in 7th grade.

Inuyasha had become distant from her, she knew she couldn't be with him anymore, just, the sad thing is that, he gave her a necklace right before she said goodbye to him. I still have that necklace.


End file.
